i have told myself never to trust again. this way, no one else could break me.... break my heart... or break my soul.
after all of the guys that passed my way and made me feel like i was nothing at all, i decided it was time to give it to someone who has always been there for me. i decided to fall in love again with someone else.
he had waited for this love for so long now. i chose him because we had been so close. and i have learned to trust him to take care of my heart. he had said he wasn't like all the rest. he would never hurt me like they all did. and again and again, after all those times i had told him this would never work, he had stood still. i didn't want another love that would leave me broken again. i didn't want to go crazy for another love that would just take a piece of who i am.
but i haven't learned my lesson well. i got too obsessive again. i expected too much again. i changed everything i can change again to please him. and this time, after just a month, nothing i did was enough.
he hates the things i do now, the very same things i did that he loved about me. he hates the thought of ever being with me at the end of the day, when he used to wait for me after work just to see me. he doesn't know what to do with me anymore. he had promised to not hurt me, but he got tired. just like all the rest of them. in such a very short span of time.
is that how it is? when you get what you've been wishing for, you realize that it wasn't what you thought? and you were wrong, she was right. and now that you know, you decide to just leave her more broken than she was before she became yours.
i haven't learned my lesson well.. is that what you are trying to say? when i said i didn't believe you, i tried not to believe you. we both knew all along we could never be sure. and still, you wanted me to be.
and for a moment when i was with you, i really was.
if you're scared to break up with me cause you don't want to be the kind of person who'd break up with a girl, that's okay. i had loved you like you were my brother. i had loved you as deeply as a true friend would. i had loved you like the fire between us would never end. but if you want to go, i won't stop you.
and just like everything else in this life, the memories i've had with you will fade away. just like your memories of me. just like all the clouds in the sky. just like your dreams in the morning when you wake up. just like the tears i cry when they dry up. just like the smoke i puff with every cigarette i light.
