i've been telling myself that over and over again, so it wouldn't hurt as much if you decide one day to leave me behind..
i shared parts of my life yesterday with three friends... parts you decided not to listen to, for they did not really matter to you. for you, being with me was enough... that whoever i was, whatever i did, whatever happened back then was not important. with you, i was different. i became "different". i became the crybaby, the spoiled brat, the one you loved most. and for once in my life, i became genuinely happy, because you were there my sweet.
and now you're not here.
and you had hurt me a lot sure. truth is, deep inside the corners of my mind, i know i have not been able to forgive you for doing so... for breaking your promises, for making me cry, for saying goodbye, for never explaining until now how you had been able to do so. but you're back. and i know i can be contented with that. just please don't break my already broken heart again.
but still...
you're not here. every night, i wish you were here to blow the pain away... to chase all my fears away... to make me feel loved again...
i am so tired of waking up... going to work. studying. talking (most of the time, just about nothing at all). to be around people i can't stand. to keep trying to please everyone. to go home and find no one there waiting for me.
