i've broken down the walls i've started building up around me for the past 5 months.. i've swallowed every bit of pride i have left... and God knows, i'll give up the life i have now, for this one chance... just one chance to bring him back.
he says he misses me all the time. no i-love-yous, no assurances, no promises.
is that enough for me? i could say i don't care at all. it's enough that he misses me. but deep in my heart, i know i am hoping for more than just that.
forgive me for talking about this now. for, you see, aside from sir luis bugging me with the truth and making my life hell (naah... just kidding. he tells me things i do not want to hear), i have to admit i still feel the lumps in my throat choking me. and i do still cry at night, and i do still have my nightmares.
and that's why i've realized that although my happiness may be here, it is not complete. i know that i should not expect anything from him, but i've laid my heart on the line now and there's no turning back.
Lord, i've given him the freedom to do whatever he wants to do with my heart. so please, please, please, don't allow him to hurt me that way for i do not have the strength to say that he shouldn't. Lord, please, please, please, i beg You, don't allow him to break my heart even more. i won't be able to take it this time.
