i've missed seeing ronie for the past few months. and it seems i have not cried out all the tears. last night he wondered why i was still awake around 1 am. and i told him "nagdrama". of course, i still cry. it still hurts. it's hard to accept the truth that he chose to stop loving me. and the bastard asked unsa daw akong gidramahan. hahai. di pa ba diay ingon ana kaobvious?! does he really think i'd get over him so soon? just like the way he forgot me and all. were all those years THAT insignificant? the last time, i asked how he was. and he said "ok ra kaau". i had to say "maau pa ka".. because with all honesty, i am not okay. how can i just BE okay? and he had the nerve to ask me "ikaw diay"?
hahai.
i guess i'm just too sensitive and too mushy and too emotional and too stupid. i feel so worthless... so easily forgotten. for just like everybody else, he, too, had realized i am not someone worth crying over for... i am not someone worth staying for... i am not someone worth giving up the world for.
and i am in so much pain. it hurts to stop believing that there's something good in this world for me. because frankly, the day ronie said goodbye, i lost all my faith in everything. i am so tired of hoping i'd get some reward for all the things i had to endure.
