i have to give up... i have to stop this... i have to move on... i have to forget...
at least, a part of me says that it's just a matter of time. that this will pass. and that everything will turn out fine. after all, i only have a lifetime to live through. i should enjoy and accept life as it is, with all the joy and pain it brings. God has a great purpose for me, and that is all that should matter really.
and that's why i feel stupid. and stubborn. i know what to do and yet i cannot do it. i have chained myself to empty promises, to an undying love that will never come to be, to memories that will remain only as memories now, to all the happiness i once had. i am stupid to doubt the fact that i will be happy again. of course i will be. (won't i?) and yet i still don't believe it.
why do i care? why do i still hurt? i have a God who loves me, and friends who care. in truth, i should laugh harder, and much more often, because i know how much i am loved.. i wonder why, within my soul of souls, and within my heart of hearts, i continue to remain sad.
so i came up with the conclusion that i am, indeed, stupid.
